articles

My Dinner With Gandhi

If you could have dinner with anyone who would it be? It’s a cliche question that begs a cliche answer—an answer we craft to show the questioner how intelligent we are, how philosophical we are, how cool we are, how woke we are, how really anything we are but what we actually are.

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My Battle With E.D.S.

Today I am taking the brave step of publicly announcing my long battle with Email Depression Syndrome, or E.D.S., so that I may exploit it for purposes of another Medium article.

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Big G and the Little Lenny Roll

It’s no surprise to me that of all my Medium articles, one of the most popular is Lessons From My Grandmother, my no holds barred, hard-hitting tribute to my paternal grandma.

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The Exorcist Is the Greatest Commercial for Catholicism Since the Inquisition

The one horror movie that still gets under my skin is The Exorcist. Though not for the reasons you may think.

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Going All the Way on My First Date with Alice B. Toklas

Mrs. Case, The Drug Lady had fulfilled her duty that day, at least on this impressionable youth. Marijuana? No thank you. Only dopes use dope.

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Lessons From My Grandmother

My grandmother immediately went out and got her real estate license —and this was back in 1958 when women had not yet ascended to the level of complete and total equality that they so enviously enjoy today.

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How to Find a Soulmate in 3 1/2 EZ Steps

I’m like that guy in The Hurt Locker — the bomb disposal unit guy. Except the bombs I detonate are relationships. And they blow up all over the place.

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Naked Dwayne and His Bit-O-Honey

I remember the first time I saw a naked man. It was the summer of 1974. I was 10 years old. And it was awesome.

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A Beginners Guide to Transcendental River Rafting

I’m not much of an outdoorsman. To me, “the outdoors” is that area between my front door and my car door.

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